Maxine Birthday Humor

The year begins ... The

the academic year begins, new faces are seen in the various courses, new (unfortunately few) maidens begin to move their first steps as a university ...

soon begin again to post some delirium.

In the meantime we wish you a good start, which often turns into a disaster imquietante:) =

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ienallo


Embee '? fuck you mean?

Well first define the meaning of this word, clearly invented by the twisted mind of yours, I must first define a few things.
First we talk about addiction, well then you have something really serious (or maybe not). Dependencies a subject treated by many in many contexts: alcoholism, smoking, drugs, all prepared to judge these "employees" in a critical way. But the reality today there are many other dependencies, much more dangerous and I say to those (me) say "I do not drink, I'm not an alcoholic, I do not smoke, not smoking, I'm not addicted to anything,"
FAKE! Nothing could be further from the truth, I do not believe you, your employees are all really small and I want to speak to you, you in particular that you empty the bin nutella watching TV, or you hurt yourself that you continue to swallow what you should not, and to fight, we talk about food addiction short (they say so?), the supergolosi ... but we enter a specific example.

you to the supermarket to shop, you know what you have to buy the necessary, the usual things, but ... but walk past the counter and fridge ... and you see him, and 'him, and he calls you, and' as if it were illuminated by a divine ray from heaven, try not to look but you can not, there are signs that take you to him, your head and your eyes are moving by themselves, should determine why the attraction is too much. But he who? What is this? And 'the IENALLO, you own him,' you look at them defiantly, watching you with haughtiness and arrogance, if you see the grins and fought over what to do, while trying to hide your most hidden desires, but he already knows what to do. The ienallo has the grin of a hyena and e 'bastard like a jackal, but' a material thing, and is mocking in its being, do not spring, you can not beat it, is the law of ienallo and in the end well at the end yield, and take that can of ice cream (the ienallo in this case) is just what the hazelnut and stracciatella you like a lot, but not only, you still have a choice, 'cause you can still save you ... there is' the bins small, but you do not!, you convince yourself that do not really eat it all that night by the kilo bin, but you are unaware of the power of ienallo, you're unaware that he will win ', because he always wins and it will end up the same evening that bin, and the day they went to the supermarket and ienallo will 'always be there and will wait for you' to the passage, with his typical wry do, and you can not escape it. The ienallo humiliates you. Always. It makes you do things you would not want, or you should, but inside you, deep down you know you will, and blows up your most hidden desires. And he grins as conceited if there turns back again, and then another, and there helmets again.

Definition: The ienallo is the irresistible appeal of something that you can not ever give up, and usually attack you in those moments when you're more vulnerable, even if sometimes its power can be so devastating to beat you in good times and carefree, and not just staring at you and calling you can not do anything to give it up, you can not pretend not to see him and support him but only to hurt you. Often the ienallo is so smart about not being recognized at first but only during the performance of the impure (rare, because usually at the performance of you feels a sense of absolute entitlement), or at the end of it, creating that sense of "little self-respect, and this is another of his great strength.
concrete ways to eliminate a ienallo there are, you will have so much to give it up, and not always enough. And in case you managed not sing victory because he will come back, maybe have changed his appearance, but will return and will be more powerful than before.

E 'was only a small example, but be afraid of ienallo because he always knows how to hit.

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Aphorisms

It 'been a while that no one writes on this blog (and for some this is a good thing !)... maybe because it's a bit that no one is in today is the day Univ ugiosa, and starts with a good Pellini and with a thought directed at women . We can make and say that today are filled with the so-called "philosophical syndrome" ... I always happens after you get up a little (a lot) elbow. I would then share with you my sense with some philosophical aphorisms that have helped me in my life and I believe a lot:

Alcohol is the worst enemy of man.

who runs in front of the enemy is a coward!

All women in this world, they are beautiful.

just depends on how much you drink Vodka!

If I stop smoking I'll live one more week ...

sure that week in pouring rain.

The Bigamy is having one wife too many.

Monogamy is the same.

Some women prefer not to suffer

many men at once and instead concentrate on just one:

women are faithful.

I had a car and I sold it,

I had a wife and I left.

First, because sucking too much, too little

the second.

God could not be everywhere, so he

invetato mothers.

She was the second mistake of God

When God created man and woman

he has not patented.

So since any idiot can do the same

.

Sluts

are the so-called "altruistic girls."

Hard work pays in the long run,

laziness pays now.

Sex is like money, then it is too

enough.

Of all the sexual perversity

chastity is the strangest.

Cocaine is God's gift,

need to warn you that you have too much money.

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Aliens

Aliens ... What the hell can you say about aliens? Everything and nothing. Why? Because everybody talks about but no one has ever seen one. I believe that there's extra-terrestrials, I think this is very clear. To tell you why I believe I am referring to a "legendary" movie Contact sentence: "If we had just us, it would be a waste of space."

Aliens on Earth: First, when I got the sock idea (by mistake) to write this post, I wondered: "An alien who the hell are you doing on earth?". A priori impossible that I came to see the episodes of "Friends" led by the husband of Maureen Costanzo, and since it travels through space, and belongs to a breed evolved, I refuse to believe that it is on Earth in order to subscribe to the "Big Brother". Having said that I read a bit 'of stuff on the habits of the aliens on the Internet (Google knows everything), and I hear that after all is an alien on Earth does things so strange: it is a ride to Earth by visiting some niche, some process fucks girl, sometimes you press against something with the ship, and returns to his home. In short, the ship belonging to this is a real tourist!

Kidnapping: A classic stories on the so-called alien abduction is sexual: in few words of the victims say they were raped and abducted by aliens to cross the two breeds. I do not know if you've ever noticed, but all those who say they were abducted by aliens, are never beautiful maidens in heat, but married women in their forties or girls who look like frogs with malaria. Now I will tell you how it went: Let's say you are a group of aliens, did you just graduate of your university and your parents will pay a trip to Earth. Take their spaceship and head for your trip. Arriving on Earth inbucate you to a party and you drain all the delicacies that the blue planet we sell. You are finished, can not do even to stand up with your small body and rickety. At some point you see something you pick up and drag you out, takes you to the spaceship of your parents that you have parked in the back. You do not understand a shit. Do not you realize if you're fucking a girl or a hole in the tank of the ship, but all that you do not mind. The next morning stoned means turn on the TV and see a father with a shotgun incazzado like a bee near a lot of radioactive waste that poses as a girl who says she was raped and abducted by aliens on a spaceship. We would laugh, and then realize that YOU are the ones they are talking about. Have you made 6 billion miles into deep space making you two balls as big as a house to be raped by a fart solidified ...

This is the great truth of the facts, I refuse to believe that an alien will face 6 billion kilometers to fuck an avalanche of flesh with spots! If you have never made sexual relations between races, the aliens were to be raped!

Ufo fallen to Earth: You hear a lot about UFO falling to Earth. Everyone talks about it but nobody has ever provided evidence. I do not care whether it is true that the spaceships have crashed on Earth, we put the absurd to be true, what I wonder is how can it happened. If the Aston alien aliens there were scientists, and serious people, I think this could not happen. From my point of view, sometimes it happens that some alien drink a bit 'too much, maybe he was competing with another ship loses control, and press against a mountain. I already imagine the scene that all concerned by the ship goes down, look at the damage, he puts his hands on his head, and think how to explain to his parents that he demolished the ship.

Tests sull'esitenza aliens: I think the evidence is not there. According to you, if you are accused of rape on a planet that is not yours, you know you have a high probability of having to marry that stinky box masquerading as a female entity, you would find there? I asked them to take what's left of my dignity, mounted on my ship and fly out hoping not to be taken for qlo for life!

I close this post with a thought:
"The aliens never came to Earth. Because they know the existence of Chuck Norris!"

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Spammers have won: (

Abstract: February 9, 2006 I wrote a post titled "The Spammer". This post was speaking of various forms of spammers and a draft law regarding the killing of the spammer in all their forms. For this reason staff UnivTrash had created a petition to urge the Italian government to enact this law.

What happened: As I suspected, the Italian Government is simply a puppet in the hands of spammers. By now even the Internet is saved from the clutches of these beings genetically modified. Today, if you click on the link " petition against spammers " in the post mentioned above, you may receive this page (click to enlarge).


not even admit that they are afraid of the digital revolution anti-spammers. Like any form of protest was lifted immediately. But staff UnivTrash will never surrender! We report 2 screenshots to show you that there really was trying, and sooner or later the truth will rise up like a geyser caused by old Pellini good ... (Click to enlarge).



UnivTrash staff thanks all those who have been supportive and have signed the petition, in particular Tony Copper (friends CopperTony), which is the road to my car and take me away. I remind everyone that in any case we not give up!

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Pepsi Vs Women Mentos

This morning while I was enjoying a good Pellini Univ H3 at the bar of the building, I was absorbed in my thoughts and playing with my PDA, I could not do more because of those fucking vacuum of cocaine from the Ministry of Health. Suddenly, I do not know what dark reason, I looked up and saw a girl who looked like a gargoyle with pimples. I am disgusted by this sight that deeply marked the soul immediately closed her eyes. When he opened them I saw the advertisement of Pepsi. As if by magic I had a divine illumination and wondered: "It 's possible to conceive of an experimental weapon, undetectable, easy construction and low cost for the disposal of Roiti from the face of the earth". It was quite a dilemma. With the head in the clouds I walked out of the inn, and I lit a Marlboro. A bolt of lightning at the blue I pierced his skull. "Maybe Google knows!" I cried, I threw the cigarette on the ground and climbed the stairs of the building H2bis of a hurry. Unfortunately I forgot the Pellini and I had to turn back before the end of 8 minutes otherwise I would have turned into a geyser of shit ... and everything is beautiful. After getting rid of the effect

Pellini, I went to the computer room to begin my research. Taken despair because I could not find a weapon suitable for my purposes, I thought I riunciare, until, as when a pigeon shits on you head when you least expect it, here is the solution!

Weapon: boys have discovered that you should never, and I repeat never, mix of the mentos with pepsi, otherwise you can get a side effect, as shown in this video. The idea is good, but there is still much to do to turn this nice little show in a real weapon of mass destruction. I dive back into research, I now knew where to start, and other well-known experiments in this regard. This other video made me realize that I was on the right track, but there was still something ... and finally after agonist search, Google has finally understood what I was looking for ... lords and maidens, here is what we needed to get rid of all the shrews that we turn around and scare us in our worst nightmares: Pepsi Mentos grenade initiation. To watch with sound!!

Woman With Girdle Poem About

Women are a wonderful thing. I love all women! They come in all models: high, low, lean, fat, blondes, brunettes, redheads, sexy, shy, cows, holy, old, young, enterprising, obedient ... in short, everything and more. Another cool is that ultimately are not very different from cars, in fact you can even trick: change the colors of hair, swelling breasts, making them thinner, make them more meat ... In short, the imagination reigns supreme in this field.

The beauty We do not always agree on the beauty (inner and outer) of the women, and this is a very good thing! In this way everyone has what he wants. The media bombard us with a unique model of woman (the photo of this post sums up very well), this is bad for me: I really do not care about the sacrifices that a girl wants to do (and not "must do") to look like this model, I care a lot about the girls who manage to look like this stereotype. Feeling pussies and want these women are expected on a pedestal, and best of all. We must reduce emissions. When you answer wrong, or when you realize that you offend are not the best, and often throw up their hands, knowing that I am protected by that "Women do not beat even with a flower.. "Let me tell you a secret, please do not raccontatelo around: that this is no longer valid since the revolution of women 60-70 years. This, to you, I will not ever tell you? This is impotrande follow this blog . Let me explain why: the feminism focused, essentially, in asserting (correctly) the rights of women and make him acquire new ones. What nobody says , is that with the acquisition of new rights will automatically acquire new responsibilities. Women want equal rights? They will also have equal obligations! So if a mast step on me or I have the c. .. right to take the blows and she has the duty to take.

And 'our fault Admittedly, we who have wanted women. In a famous sacred text (of which I refuse to pronounce the name), tells the story of one Adam. As we have taught catechism, Adam was lonely, went to the boss, and asked if he could do something. As written in the ancient texts, the Premier took a rib and created Eve to keep him company. What the ancient texts leave out is what happened after Adam, who was ignorant about women (of course, women did not exist), took Eve, and happily he returned home. After 10 minutes the first woman in history, opened his mouth. Adam darted away like a hare, went to the Boss, and claims to get his rib. The Premier, angry dall'insolenza Adam said, "you have a bicycle? Time pedals." Discouraged our pet returned home. The days passed, Adam despair did the only thing possible at the time: as the EIST not work, he found himself a hobby, and invented the wheel. Time passed inexorably, the news became monotonous, and the joy of having someone next became despair. One day Eva began to break early in the morning, Adam was tired, as it passed through the night to invent the bicycle, took despair tried something desperately to be put into the mouth of Eve to keep her quiet, not finding anything at hand, did the only thing that Come to mind because he had a rod between her legs that did not need to anything decided to place it in your mouth Eve. Adam knew of pleasant sensations from this act aroused anger, and so was born the blowjob ... but that's another story.

Courting a woman During many discussions about the courtship with my peers, I noticed that many of them like courting women: the feeling, the thrill, the actual capture of a woman makes them happy and satisfied. Personally I hate the stage of courtship. From my point of view, a court woman is a waste of time, I have more important things to do, such as playing with a PlayStation 2 or smoking a cigarette. I can not imagine why I should do it: if I like a girl like me and you, for what reason I have to court her dark (and then spend my precious time), take it out, my financial resources to draw on her , do the sweet guy, praising its quality, expect an answer, without having the only thing I want in return? The most common response is, "but I do not know you and I have to think ...". This, my readers, is called exploitation of male ! How c. .. or time it takes to decide such a thing? The average time is 5 minutes of my decisions. A one time it took me 2 hours to make a decision, it was when I had to decide which car I wanted to buy. For a woman is different. When asked: "Do you want to go out one of these days?", The answer to this question is simple: "I do not know, I have to think.." Some of you, dear readers, have you ever asked a girl, in response to this classic statement: "Well, how long do you need?" Well gentlemen, I did ... their average response is "uh?" mmmm ... I do not know ... ... ... ... ... ... (a cigarette and a half hours) ... ... .. . ... ... ... ... (when I arrived at the 4th last cigarette:) a week. " ATTACK NUCLEAR POWER IS DECIDED IN A WEEK! Since smoking is prohibited in public places, I always take the girl out to ask how long they need to decide, otherwise I think it crazy.

Relations between men and women: This point is very complex, and only addresses one small aspect of the problem. We try to answer a simple question: How many women should attend one man?
Let's start with an assumption: if the woman attends most men is a bitch (if the street from free), a whore (if requires a fee), a bitch (if you go with anyone but you). If a man attends more women at the same time is great. From my point of view, to attend more than one woman at the same time is a cost in money and time too high, I'd rather spend my money on cartons of cigarettes, alcohol, and PC hardware. I'm for the concept "a woman at a time." This does not mean that critical that the boys can attend more women at the same time, but simply that I admire them for their desire. I want to clarify (and close this post here) that I adore and admire TrTr also, because I think their desire to be like the butterflies to land on each pistil and they have to shoot, is a public service to society is absolutely necessary .

There is much more to say about women, but I prefer to talk a little at a time ...

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Death

talk about death, one with a capital M, the one that terrifies us all ... Well almost all, have you ever heard of necrophilia ? Well, if you do not know or have only a vague idea I suggest you read up. Login to write the link to the document above is an excerpt from the site of CEPIC [European Center for Psychology and Criminology Investigation], but we are not here for your chance to speak to necrophilia, it's scavengers, nor of the Necronomicon, nor of the necromancers. We're here to talk about death in almost abstract sense of the word, and to speak of death associated the facts and, as you can see from the image in "cover" to sex.

There was hurt: are 22 years now that I live on this planet and pornography of death and I really fed up, from Freddy Vs Jason (for example) in the first scene in which already see a nice pair of tits a nice TrTr (Green Gables would say), we talked about earlier to necrophilia. So the combination of sex and death is well established in our minds since our childhood. In the past the function of the vagina was to reproduce, you saw a beautiful pussy, placed on him, and after 9 months emerged as the surprise of a kinder egg. Per day Today the vagina is used to make money, sell phones, TVs, cars, computers, cigarettes, alcohol etc.. in short, almost everything, but I swear I never ever thought that a vagina could sell a coffin! This made me upset. I try to understand but I can not. The image of "cover" of this post, shows the model Padre Pio's collection "Coffins and charm" of the site cofanifunebri.com . Obviously there are other models such as the Empire style model (and I must say that this empire has a pretty sight), and other models that will let you discover for yourself. As a final treat, but not least, here it is the link of the funeral sexy calendar for all the wankers that necrophiliacs segono this blog.

Death in reality: The death of lost is something horrible, tragic ... Well almost always tragic, sometimes it can be curious, but the maximum is reached when it becomes in a sense paradoxical. We carry a story reported by TGcom.it on November 5, 2003:

runs to arrive at a funeral ... and dies.
had to go to the funeral of a relative, but the wrong church. When he realized the error, a 48 year old to Eupilio in the province of Como, has started running frantically in a desperate attempt to get there in time to the ceremony funeral. He made it. But, just get close to the coffin, was seized by an illness and died. The man, with his wife, he went by mistake to a nearby church where, however, another funeral officiated. When he saw the function of being wrong, always with his wife, did go for a run, breathless, close to the ceremony, the right one. But suddenly, and without showing signs of illness, has slumped in the pews [...] The most likely cause of death is attributed to a sudden heart attack.


This post was written a little at a time, now it is the truth of 0:29 am Friday, February 10, 2006, and take this opportunity to wish a Core / Husky (my friend).

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The Spammer

The University is a breeding ground for spammers as is Jamaica for marijuana. Every person knows in his unconscious, since issuing the first breath in this world, what is a spammer: scassacazzi worthy of a Guinness Book of Records! As mentioned above one of the many habitats in which this creauta proliferation, as well as the Internet, is the University. Let's look at a spammer in its natural environment and its behavior.

creature: Each animal in this world has these prerequisites: drinks, eats and fucks (or at least I would!). The spammer, fortunately for us, no! Well the spammer being a body mutant mutative certainly because of our Western civilization, does not reproduce (happens a speech like that when they mate a donkey and a mare, a mule is out, but the latter being a mutant is not sterile and you can play). That should tell you that this is one of my greatest fears is that my son is born when you turn into a spammer. Another peculiarity of this genetic error is hunting. Each species has its own technique that is used to obtain food. The spammer does not hunt humans to eat them, hunt them to break the balls with inane advertising, flyers, and to offer you everything and only what you, the poor victims, do not give a damn.

The Hunt: The spammer is an animal that uses the tactic dell'appostamento: prefer crowded places, but places where people gather (the plague in the blood), but those places where there is a large continuous influx of people to a confined space, such as the entrance to the university restaurant (see photo). This kind of abortion is not very smart, you can tell from his limited vocabulary, which includes only the chorus (not exceeding 10 words) of what is spamming, I challenge any of you in a tackle spammers and take some simple question about what is spamming around, and frightened him to death, if the will, will run like hell. Just today, on my way to the canteen, there were two posted at the entrance. I was in a panic. I had just lit a cigarette, and because of the anti-smoking law celebrolesi those designed by the Ministry of Health, which both evangelize this damn law, are secluded but just start snorting coke like a vacuum cleaner for industrial purposes, I was in front of a hard choice: throw the beloved drug and escape, or surrender and be captured by spammers? I'm stuck. I was still at a safe distance, and I had yet seen. Click a picture. I see. 'S the end. Like two pikachu crazy facts are to me and LSD with a mechanical tone continue to repeat endlessly: "beerasmus tonight ... tonight ... tonight beerasmus beerasmus ...". I'm going to make me under when all of a sudden comes the usual train of students who finished the lessons, the two pikachu psychopaths, who are lured by the number of people as a kid in full blast hormone from porn magazines, head for the students.

How to protect yourself from spammers: It 's very difficult, we could say that it is almost impossible to do it individually. Every time he pulls down a spammer in two other people change, like a virus is difficult to be defeated. In my opinion the only way to eradicate this infection is to ask the Italian Government to enact a law for the indiscriminate killing of any kind of spammers they are (real people, or on the internet). For this UnivTrash staff asks you to kindly sign this petition against spammers .

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The Cafe Pellini

University, for over a year, 2 to 4 bar propinano to their customers (ie us) Pellini coffee ... Some of you, dear readers, you're probably questioning: "... and a. .. or there to care about us?", Immediately said, this place could save your life!

A little 'history: Pellini Coffee was born in Verona in 1922 (and also had to die there ...! - Gionko of NB). In 1971 he founded, together with other producers, the Consorzio del Sao Café. Since the late '80s, the company began a series of acquisitions in the sector: the most recent being that of roasting coffee Roberta di Modena. Pellini Coffee is present in over 30 foreign countries (it has never happened that the products they make us take a picture of shit, remained in Italy - Gionko of NB). - Quoted in parcondicio (ie to show that not everything you read online is true) the site of the Consorzio del Sao Café .

"Why can save your life? " The" extraordinary "Pellini coffee, with its full-bodied coffee fair with battery acid, causes, even in small doses, some disastrous side effects: besides making shit in a metaphorical sense, sucks in a practical sense. All this is related to the first post of this blog "The paper " written and designed by our dear Riki. The incubation period is around the Pellini 8 minutes after ingestion. This means that if you're in an elevator, your tranquil experience travel plan could turn into a volcano of crap that erupts when you least expect it! If someone was mere conjecture in the elevator together to you, you might turn an innocent life and guilty of murder by means of bacteriological weapons (which I remember being forbidden by the Geneva Convention). You may also succumb. Imagine if your gut is so stressed by this poison production Verona crap that even your internal organs ... belonging that is not beautiful but prevents the use of the lift where you find for a long time.
Some of you might think with the few neurons that remain, "I always get there in the bathroom! Then, eight minutes is an eternity in those cathartic moments." I refer you to always post " card" ... and call us when you photograph, when you need it, miss logistical support to the invention of the century: the toilet . Already we see you trade all your belongings in a whirlwind of suffering for a little 'paper soft and fragrant.

How to remove the taste of battery acid: A solution tested and working in most cases is the so called: black plus special . The black coffee is nothing special just a regular black coffee with a dash of chocolate powder (we assume that it is chocolate). If you can convince that substitute bartender on duty on the bench to let the container of cocoa powder (or chocolate is the same for us is simple Nesquik), or if you can to avoid, you could just applied too much, turning the poison produced by Pellini Caffè Verona spa in a semi-liquid gelatinous edible. WARNING: This does not mean that the side effects fade.

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Cara ti amo!

That 's a real news that I found on an old "Corriere della sera " of 06/02/2004. So you bring it 'as I read it, from my point of view, it' s nice that even today you can implement these practices. Seen before, every man should be able to protect, and to Luchetta his cow mounts.

ATHENS - At the airport of Athens, the alarm lasted very little, was not a belt eslosiva but chastity, which ones worn by an impeccable English lady of 40 years. However, as he passed, it took the metal detector, and when the security people have checked more thoroughly with the detector manual discovered that the woman was wearing a chastity belt: it happened Thursday at Athens airport, and the protagonist is a British woman of 40 years. According to greek newspaper "To Vima", women would say that her husband forced her to wear the belt in the medieval style "because he was afraid of the Greek fans' during the short stay of the lady in Greece. The British citizen was able to board the flight to London just after the pilot had personally taken responsibility for it on board.

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card

but does not seem to university these days run hard times. The harmony of the group of friends has been irreparably damaged, and the fear in the veins of the poor and defenseless college students, especially in that of the department of mathematical sciences. In this magnificent building, the h2bis, also known as Gotham City for his cheerful, sunny aspect (:-p), where some time ago and were excited feelings reigned as the pleasure of meaning and inner peace in this beautiful oasis in the middle of a desert well a few days ago appeared in the eyes of all a nasty business ... but no more, I would say a tragedy! Yes, in a dark and rainy winter morning, the truth has struck with unprecedented violence on the bodies of us poor students. Gionko was right (ps: gionko is always right), he had told us months ago and us from our ignorance we almost laughed in his short story, thought it was a joke since he UNIV these problems do not ha. Gionko had professed so:

"in a few months you will have to change your habits, the university has no more money this year and the first costs that will reduce those on the toilet paper "

The other morning, well the other morning we realized. SCANDAL! DRAMA! TRAGEDY!
Gionko docet. The other morning blew up the malaise of young university students looking for a bathroom with , an oasis of tranquility, a place where they can get. Nothing is like before, the harmony is gone, I only see angry faces of a rich evil within, a complete disorder. uttered a cry of alarm, I hope I come listened to and trust in your help. more paper and less taxes. The university needs you.

help me